The Dating Question pt. 1

Of all the ironies, I am actually writing this from a kitchen. I am also far away from the current issue, thank any goddess listening.

Most American women probably know what this is like. You turn a certain age and you're single. Thus, every other female you know wants to set you up with someone. Including your feminist friends and family.

Fun, no?

The conundrum is present in my current life and it's starting to get very, very irritating. This is for a number of reasons, chief among them being that my mother, the feminist who raised me to be who I am, is pushing me to this. She's admittedly more subtle than everyone else. It's just...

Moving away from the rant and towards a rant-tinted educational standpoint, why is this needed? I will openly admit that I do in some ways fit the ridiculous beauty standard Americans are obsessed with. I'm also past high school age and yet young enough that I can't be called a hopeless case. So what is the obsession with having women like me stuck in a relationship?

Yes, admittedly, he's a decent guy. He's cute and funny but I'm leagues ahead of him in intelligence outside of the math area, but everyone is better than me in math (I'm a writer at heart. Numbers don't agree with me). However, I'm also extremely opinionated and I'm a shameless vegetarian pagan. Those facts put me far, far outside the norm of where I'm from.

To be considered desirable, where I'm from, you need to be white, blonde, blue eyed, Baptist, genial, supportive, and obedient. I fit three of those and none of them are traits that actually matter. So then, can I rightfully assume that this big collective
push for me to enter into a relationship with this charming young man (who is blonde, green eyed, a lapsed Protestant, genial, supportive, and a bit of a risk-taker) is an issue of control?

Do they want me with a guy, a local guy, because I'm the girl who left the safety of our fallen mountains and our valleys so deep? Because I'm the girl who decided to go to college at a big school in a bigger city? Is it because I was never Christian that they want to put me with a guy who, though lapsed, was at one point Protestant? I know that seems silly, but as a pagan coming from what has been affectionately referred to as the Buckle of the Bible Belt, I can say firsthand how religion can screw over so many relationships. I've lost a lot of friends I've never even told the truth to, because they can figure it out on their own. I'm digressing. I apologize.

Back to the issue of Tristan and I.

Everyone wants me to give him a chance, and I see the glimmer of hope that maybe I'll settle down whenever I talk to them. I can even see the glimmer in the text when I'm debating about it in email. A part of me wants to tell them that I can't date a guy, no matter how sweet, who tells me that feminism is a movement that isn't needed anymore.

So the question is, how is a young feminist supposed to date in circumstances like this? How are we supposed to find anyone when something like this happens?